Thursday, February 21, 2013

You can do it too!! :)

I have to tell you, I feel a little awkward when people tell me in reference to dealing with Reese's condition : "You're so strong" "What you do everyday is amazing" "You're such a good mom!" Now I know these are compliments, and I thank you all dearly for praising my strengths :) BUT ....... I still feel awkward. I'm not sure what to say. What I'd like to say is "Thanks! But it still sucks hardcore to have to do it!" And believe me, I'm not as strong as you may think. A lot of "what I do" comes down to survival - not strength.
 Now for the soap box portion of this post. I do NOT like it when other people, especially other parents tell me: "I could never do what you do!" Really??!! I mean REALLY people? If your 8 month old was found to have this condition, or your 5 or 6 or 7 year old, or I don't even care about the age. If your child of any age contracted a serious illness, or was in a car accident that left them with severe brain damage - you really wouldn't "do it"?? What would you do, give them up for adoption? Maybe see if another relative would just take them in and raise them or care for them? I guess when people say this to me, I hear a very callous unloving remark towards their own children. Because a good parent WOULD do this for their child. That's all I'm doing. Trying to take the best care I can with what God entrusted me with.
Okay - now that I've probably offended droves of you, let me say that I understand most people say this with the intent of meaning - you lead a hard life. The things you have to go through and deal with suck, I don't think I could deal with it.
So I will let you in on a little secret. A lot of days I feel the same way. Some days I'm not sure if I will be able to deal with whatever is going on either. Some days I break down and cry all day, some days I am an evil dragon and scream and breathe fire at anyone with in my line of sight (ask my husband, he will concur), and some days you think I am totally fine, because I am in a numbing state - where nothing other than "I need a pepsi ...... and possibly some drugs" penetrate my mind. I usually stay out of the public eye on any of these given days. So when people see me - I am somewhat put together and functioning. That is why you may think I can do it, and you can't.
Now I realize in life, there really are some people who can't do this. Whether it be because of their own mental issues, physical issues, or financial issues, some parents really aren't able to care for their disabled children. I'm talking about the people who I know that tell me this. I want to roll my eyes and say a rude sarcastic remark ...... which I usually do ........
So - the point of my long rambling soap box issue of today: DON'T tell me you couldn't do what I do. I KNOW you! I KNOW you love your children! And I know if heaven forbid you were ever put in my place you WOULD do what I do. So don't tell me you can't. I don't like it. It leads me to get on my high horse and write blogs such as this. And possibly offend a few of you, which might lead to more sarcastic or cynical comments on my part because you got offended.