Better than You .....

How can I say this? ......... I complain a lot, and sometimes "bemoan my fate" of having a special needs child. Or so it seems that way. Looking back on the things I've said, it almost looks like I take on the attitude of "my situation is way worse than yours, poor me, blah blah blah." And finally: I must be better than you, because I'm such a martyr!
 So you know, this is NOT how I feel at all. I simply write what my feelings are that day. You can tell by the tone of my post what my mood is that particular day, and I assure you, it changes daily!

I have come to find I am one of the most hypocritical people I know. I used to be one of those people in the background who would think: Oh here it is. She's crying about her "special" child again. -  Or: I don't care if their child is "special" they should discipline them!! - And even better: Do they think they have it so much worse than all of us?

Yes, little Reesie was sent here to teach me many, many,  lessons. Poor kid definitely has his work cut out for him.
Just so you know I have learned my lesson (or am in the process of learning it). I will not judge another parent on how they raise, discipline, and care for their children ( as long as it's not abuse of course).
And I hope all my friends will give me the same benefit. Like I said, I write how I'm feeling at that moment. And yes, sometimes I feel sorry for myself and think I have it harder than anyone else.

Reese is special, in a little bit different of a way than the specialness of other children. That doesn't mean I think your problems are any less than mine. I know what it's like to want to rip your hair out from dealing with wild, typical, messy, dirty little boys, who are simply doing what little boys are supposed to do. I also know what it feels like to be to the point where you want to smack yourself upside the head in hopes of knocking yourself out, or at least getting an amnesiac concussion after dealing with the hormonal ups and downs of a pre-teen daughter.
And sometimes I have a little extra worry, because Reese's medical issues can be so much more damaging or severe than what I am used to dealing with. But I still KNOW how it is to be worried over my other typical children too. I DO NOT think I am better than any one else, my friends and family especially. I will just have different issues to deal with sometimes. And although you may not always know exactly what I'm going through, I've never got anything but love, support, compassion, and sympathy from all of you. And I thank you immensely for it! :)

Now, I'm not saying I won't continue to cry about my problems to any and all who will listen, because lets face it, I LOVE to talk. But just know, when I go on and on about how hard I have it, I don't think I'm better than you. Maybe I'll think at that moment my problems are worse than yours, and maybe they will be, but I won't hold it against you. ;)
And I hope you won't hold it against me. I'm really not that great of a person, I'm really not any stronger than any of you. I do what I do, and get through my days because I have to. Looking the other way and pretending like I don't have the problems I do isn't even a choice here. And you all would do exactly the same thing if you were in my place, I promise. You're just as strong as me - and I get through my days just like you do. Sometimes only one breath at a time.
After all, if Reesie can do it, I certainly can! He's the one dealing with my incompetency, all the while trying to teach me what he needs to. Like I said, poor kid has his work cut out for him!
I love my little Reese Pieces, just as much as I love my other three wild animals.